Artist Statement
My drawings explore my postpartum experience after giving birth to my son in November 2019. I began drawing intimate moments from my life as a new parent as a way to process the myriad of thoughts and feelings. Both the sweet moments and the mentally and emotionally challenging—feelings of crushing postpartum anxiety, inadequacy, and intense love. Let alone the loneliness of being a new parent to an infant during a global pandemic and trying to get my bearings in isolation. These drawings became a form of self-care when it was limited to the few spare moments between caretaking, sleep, and eating.
Many of the pieces were drawn in one sitting, at night at the kitchen table with the baby monitor nearby. This is often the only time in the day a caregiver has available for self-care, or to simply sit with their own thoughts. The technique of simple, minimal lines is reminiscent of a casual sketch, like daily entries in a diary. They are neither grand nor monumental. The drawings might be dismissed by one person while felt deeply personal by another. I rely on the weight and movement of the graphite lines to emphasize the tension or pressure point between our bodies. Like the pinch of flesh or the tug of a nipple. Color is sometimes used to direct the viewer’s attention to a focal point of the experience.
By sharing this personally vulnerable body of work, I am challenging (in my own way) the unrealistic and often harmful expectations our society puts on postpartum bodies. Postpartum does not end after three months, nor six months, not even 12. Our bodies, minds, and spirits continuously ebb and flow in response to the needs of our children and the care we provide them. And the support—or lack thereof—that we receive as caregivers and individuals outside of our role. For many birthing people around the country, there are gaps in support and care at every stage of their birthing, postpartum, and parenting journey.
I am interested in continuing to observe and document the moments of my experience. To capture how my role as a mother evolves in response to his needs and to my own. I want to portray the tension and the triggers just as much as the strongest love and devotion. My hope is that my drawings, while only depicting my personal experience, will elicit conversation among other parents, caregivers, and anyone who wishes to join the conversation. That they will foster a safe space for dialogue about topics that are often taboo or rarely discussed openly—such as postpartum anxiety, “twiddling”, or cesarean incision care. Postpartum and caregiving can be incredibly isolating experiences, especially for those who have limited access to support and resources due to inadequate systems. While I can only present my own experience in birth and parenting, I hope that my drawings help others feel seen and that their own postpartum and caregiving experience is being acknowledged.